Not too long ago, in this post, I mentioned that I was disappointed that our area doesn’t have a Bigfoot or chupacabra myth. Now an intrepid Minnesotan has tried to steal Bigfoot from the Oregonians.

Once again, the Bigfoot myth has risen its moldy costume-shop head and appeared on the national news.  ABC News, one of my least favorite news sources, reported that a trail cam in the Chippewa National Forest in Minnesota captured an image resembling the fuzzy pictures of other “Bigfoot sightings.”  Here’s the story:

Bigfoot in Minnesota?

I’m sure it will not be long before the Google Maps Street View team drives through a northern town this winter and captures someone bulked up in coveralls who looks a lot like Bigfoot (or maybe the abominable snowman or a yeti) blowing snow in his driveway.  Then there will be speculation that Bigfoot has bought a house in, say, Brainerd, and drinks PBR down at the local pub every Wednesday.  But we won’t be sure because the picture will be fuzzy.

Here’s a perhaps more rational side to the Bigfoot story: 

New Bigfoot Image Cut Down by Occam’s Razor

I guess I’m going to have to cut out some plywood feet to make fake tracks and work on adding some fur to my Carharrts. And wait for Google Street View or someone with a really crappy cell phone camera to take my picture.

Ronald Reagan speaks out from 1961 in a record that was distributed in response to Democrats’ plans to socialize medicine.  I wish we could hear his voice now during this recession. 

The network news is coming to resemble Swiss cheese with its voids scattered throughout, meant to keep us ignorant.  I think it’s even beginning to smell similar to a very aged cheese.  Eat it with a little wine and numb your senses, sheeple!

From Fox News:

Comedy Central Scoops Network News on Climate-Gate Scandal

An excerpt from the article (my emphasis added):

“An examination of morning and evening news programs on ABC, CBS and NBC since Nov. 20 yielded zero mentions of the scandal, even in the Nov. 25 reports about Obama going to Copenhagen to discuss the need for emissions reductions,” the Institute reported Wednesday.

But during that time, the Institute says, “the networks reported on pro-golfer Tiger Woods’ ‘minor’ car accident at least 37 times. They also found time to report on an orphaned Moose and the meal selection at the president’s State Dinner.”

Katherine DeBrecht has written an instant classic children’s book: Help! Mom! Radicals Are Ruining My Country.  Previously, she has written Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed.

Sarah is our hero, and Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank are rather accurately portrayed. My baby’s getting a copy and she can’t even read yet. At least I can show her the pictures so she can recognize good and bad when she watches the news.

The Fox News story on the book.

Katherine DeBrecht’s website.

You know, I love biting satire, because it’s usually so true.  Love ya, Sarah from Alaska!

A new idea for the blog: capture the splash page of online network news from ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, and FOX within five minutes or thereabouts.  In other words, a snapshot of what each of these news sites is up to.  I had planned to analyze headlines (after seeing some interesting trends when Sarah Palin is in the news or during the reporting of the Ft. Hood tragedy), but I don’t really have time for doing that kind of in-depth rhetorical analysis.  So, here is a snapshot of the news today at around 4:40 pm.   Observations, anyone?

I hope to do this on a semi-regular basis and start some interesting conversations.

Here goes, in alphabetical order (please click to enlarge):

What do you think? Do you see blatant bias anywhere?  Post a comment.

I must decide whether or not I will provide commentary, but I’m sure at some point I won’t be able to keep myself from doing so, since after all, this is my blog.

Although I spend most of the time leading up to Christmas shopping for others, I will allow myself a selfish detour to examine my own wants and needs and present a list of same.  Last year, this process did prove useful, as I obtained at least one of the items on my list: a 4-12x scope for my lonely Kimber 25-06, which allowed it to become one of my favorite guns and one with which my daughter has shot half minute groups at 200 yards off the bench.  You will take note that it was not the old man behind the trigger when it achieved such excellence.  Glory is for the young.  But I digress.  On to the list!

#1: Benelli M2 Field.  A carryover from last year, so it has floated to the top.  As with last year, I’m not too picky on finish, but I will admit a preference for the Advantage MAX-4 version.  I’ve come close to the duck blaster of my dreams with a Browning Gold, a Remington 11-87, and a Beretta 391, but this is The One.

#2:  Ford F-150 Raptor SVT.  Who would not want a factory off-road-enhanced version of the F-150?  Bigger, wider, more powerful.  And since I didn’t get the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited I asked for last year, I’ll go bolder.  This truck is America on four wheels, baby.

#3: Bark River Sperati Point hunting knife.  I love my Bark Rivers, and this is very classy stuff with the leather washer handle.  I will point out to my wife if she is reading this that it could be an heirloom passed down from generation to generation.  And she can probably afford this one.  Last year I got a Kabar Warthog Impact.  This one is prettier by far.

#4: Aguila Mini Shells.  Whoever thought of this idea was a person of great genius.  I’ll take mine in 12 gauge, thank you.  

#5:  Finally, the Kimber SIS Pro.  My wife knows I want this but will probably make me wait several more years.  But it will be worth it when I open it on Christmas 2016.  The first time I saw one I felt that someone had been listening to all of my inner wants and needs of how to set up a 1911.  The trigger is my favorite style, the flat backstrap, the angled stippling on the grip, the sights–everything is perfect.  Except the weird SIS grooves on the slide, but, hey, I think I can live with them.

So I have laid bare my honest greed.  While others are blogging about the true spirit of Christmas, or about their charitable giving, or the moments spent with family, I am wanting stuff.  I guess I never grew up.  I will now go hug my kids and excellent wife, and tell them I don’t need any of these things but also remind them that I may be mildly disappointed if I don’t get any of them.

I had too much fun this summer to blog at all. Now, however, the urge to blog is coming back. Of course, I have the best excuse ever for being absent from the blogosphere this summer and fall–a new bouncing baby girl. She’s the best kind of distraction.

Highlights of the summer: the birth of my youngest daughter and buying my oldest daughter a brand new Savage MKII heavy barrel .22 for her birthday and taking it to the range to watch her cut ragged holes.

Regrets of the summer season: not enough fishing, and that’s about it. Luckily, the baby will be big enough to sit up in a forward facing seat next summer (they’re easier to strap onto boat seats). If you’ve ever seen the Princecraft commercial where the father is doing exactly that, you know what I’m talking about. Baby needs to fish.

I’ll be back to the blog again soon….one of the things I’m contemplating is analyzing news reporting and bias with regard to events such as the recent tragedy at Fort Hood. Has anyone noticed that no one wants to call it terrorism?

Having been distracted by flood news in our region (3Rs world headquarters is at the headwaters of the Red River), I have neglected the blog.  But today in a fit of brilliance I have decided to try a new feature on for size (cue trumpets), wherein I offer my services as a translator (somewhat akin to the Liberal Translation feature on Sean Hannity’s show).  The difference is that I am mainly concerning myself with headlines.

Here’s a headline from ABC News today:  Obama Lays Out Plan For Detroit’s Survival.

That sounds so benign and measured.

Translated into a more boldly defined truth (albeit a tad wordy):

Obama Practices Unique Brand of Socialist Zealotry as He Abuses Power by Firing GM CEO and Strongarming Chrysler Into Making Deal!

What should I call this feature?  Or should I just shut up before the Obama administration asks for my WordPress login information?

Discuss at your own risk.

This is the worst time of my year.  In some areas, March is beautiful and there are adornments such as cherry blossoms to enjoy.   For those of us in the Red River Valley, it’s time to watch the dirty snowdrifts slowly recede, the rivers rise, and anxiously wait for the walleye opener (which was ridiculously close to ice-out last year and it’s in MAY!).

I just returned from a trip to Illinois via Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa (thus my absence from Blogville).  There were lucky folks fishing on the Mississippi river from boats, waving as we drove past, taunting me, as I’m sure they could tell clearly from afar that I was from North Dakota.  ”Poor bastards,” I imagined them saying as I left them and drove back north.  I thought of my own boat lying in state in my best friend’s quonset.  He probably won’t have the doors busted free from the ice and snowdrifts for another month so I can free my vessel.  And then about all I will be able to do is bring it home, park it in the driveway, and sit at the helm, making outboard motor noises and dreaming of open water.

At this very moment, I’m waiting for the melt to really break loose to test my newly installed 3/4 hp sump pump.  The Red River here near the headwaters is going to be above flood stage, as usual, and is due to crest on Wednesday.  Fargo prognosticators are predicting a crest there to match the 1997 flood.  Having lost a home to the 1997 flood when I lived in our sister city of Breckenridge, my back aches for pretty much the entire month of March, and I think about water non-stop.  Ironic that a fisherman would experience so much stress over the very same thing that provides so much enjoyment later in the season.

So I wait.  I can’t even do boat prep for the season yet.  The tackle has all been obsessively organized several times over the long winter, and the gear is ready to go back in the boat.  I guess I’ll stand in my garage and look around at all of my stuff, plug in the bait fridge, and wait for the river below the dam to break up so that I can at least drop a jig in it sometime in April.  And I will think of the guys below all the dams I passed on the way back up the Mississippi.  Catch one for your northern brethren, boys.  It will be a spiritual work of mercy for us souls in purgatory.

With the latest weather beatdown (a footish of the white death), I am going to use the opportunity to model self control.  I’m not going to post a picture of my frozen-bearded face or the road conditions map or fuzzy pictures of obliterated roads.  Instead, I offer YouTube entertainment of a weather-ish variety:

#1: Loco weatherman in snowflake suit. 

#2: George Carlin’s “Hippy Dippy” weatherman.  Rest in peace, Grand Master of the English Language.

#3: European weather woman (German?) loses it.  Much of the time, weather forecasters might as well be speaking a foreign language.

#4: Attractive Minnesota weather girl.  And an illustration of the yearly beatdown for us Northerners.

#5: Attractive European weather girl.

#6: Attractive European weather girl.  This is the last one I give you.  If you want to continue this trend, take your pervy hands and type in a search on YouTube.  There are lots of these for your sick viewing pleasure.

I vote for changing our local weather forecasters over to attractive Polish-speaking meteorologists.  As long as they’re reasonably expressive and use words like “Brrrrr,” I’ll know exactly what to expect.