1. Tie spinner rigs. This is a great project for sitting down at the kitchen table with the kids. They love picking out bead and blade combinations, and it gives them something to try when they go fishing. With the addition of a wire-bending tool, one can also make in-line spinners similar to Mepps spinners. Cabelas and Jann’s Netcraft are a couple of good places to get supplies, as is JB Lures, the source of my favorite spinner blades.

2. Make knives. Well, maybe not from scratch, but it’s fun to finish blades. If you have some basic woodworking and tool-handling skills, check out Ragnar’s Ragweed Forge for Scandinavian blades, or eBay for some of the Camillus blanks that are available right now from people who bought stuff from the historic factory after it closed down (search eBay for Camillus blades). I just won several auctions to make everything this winter from a set of six steak knives, to finishing a military-style blade. Click on the pic for my recent eBayapalooza of Camillus knife-buying!

3. Learn stuff/geek it up. Like how to make the most of a mildot reticle (lots of info on the web: do a Google search) or build a ballistics spreadsheet. I’ve been playing with a self-modified spreadsheet based on the work of the folks over at Jackson Rifles, which is in turn based on the work of Prof. Arthur Pejsa. I added a chart to visually show the trajectory and I plan to expand my library to include all of my rifle loads.

4. Plan my fishing season strategy. Being a next-door neighbor to the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes, I try to get to a few new lakes every year, in addition to getting to know my old haunts better. Fishing in Minnesota has the advantage of lots of DNR Info.

5. Sharpen drill bits. Yeah, not too glamorous, but it kills time! I have a whole pile of drill bits gathered over the years just waiting for a Drill Doctor that I picked up sometime in the last year on clearance at Sears.

6. Blog. And cruise the blogosphere for other good ideas to keep myself busy.

Enjoy your winter, and get your geek on!

I can’t possibly put into words what I see through my camera lens each and every season, so here’s a little photo essay to express my thanks to the Lord for what He has made for us.

Americans with a love of the outdoors (and husbands and fathers with beautiful ladies with whom to share outdoor experiences) are the luckiest people on the planet.  Share the outdoors with someone.  You’ll be glad you did.

Big Green has come out with an AR-15, partially due to their corporate ownership also owning Bushmaster.  I know–old news to many of you.  What I’m trying to figure out (and maybe I need the help of a democratic Congress-ha!) is whether or not it is an assault rifle.  I’m not sure that if I pick it up, I won’t put on my best Rambo sneer, start cackling wildly, and jam in a 70-round magazine.  Just a few years ago congress thought weapons like this (especially the really evil ones with bayonet lugs) would surely turn law-abiding citizens into criminal bad-boys.

More on the specs and features later, but I really want to know–what are your thoughts?  Predator hunting machine or nasty mall ninja toy?

Post me a comment and I will post an anonymous breakdown of typical responses, along with my thoughts in a future blog post.

I’m always looking for things to make me look smart.  So I started pondering today whether I wanted to share my secrets with others.  Of course, since blogging is the very definition of charity, (or is it really just inflicting myself on others?) I decided to go ahead and share a few things that make me look like I actually know what I’m doing.  This way, others who are seeking to enhance perceptions of their skill in the field can benefit as I build my ego.

#1—bead-head nymphs.  I must admit that unlike some of the chroniclers of river lore listed on my blogroll, I am a dunce when it comes to flyfishing.  Alighting the dainty dry fly on the surface is not my forte.  But I look OK when I have a bead-head nymph on, with its extra weight to cheat my line out a little bit.  And they catch fish.  Can’t beat that.

#2—sharp knives.  As someone who has been around a few custom knifemakers and even tried my hand at that craft (no, it wasn’t successful—a story for another day), I must say that 90% of the cutlery market is junk.  But a good, well-sharpened blade makes me look like a master when others are sawing and jerking and hacking their way through fish or wild game.  If you don’t have a lot of money, buy a Kershaw Blade Trader.  Nice, thin easy-cutting blade that is easy to resharpen.  For a fillet knife, spend some money and buy one from Don Canney.  I’ve been through most of the production ones and his are superior, semi-custom affairs.

#3—high lift jack.  So many uses in the great outdoors.  I have used mine for everything from lifting my boat trailer to change a tire to jacking up the sagging concrete steps on my house.  They will winch in a pinch, too!

#4—I’ll leave my favorite for last—a capable wife.  Even when I’m not looking so smart, she can create a diversion.  And sometimes save me from myself.  This brings me to a story.  Gather round, now, it’s Uncle Wade’s Sunday Story Time.   Ahhh hem.

A fine summer afternoon on Lake Winnibigoshish this past summer, the lady and I were trolling for walleye with crankbaits.  Lazy fishing, I know, but I’ll make excuses and say my arms were tired from casting for muskies all morning.  The perch were a-peckin’, and I was beginning the process of taking one of those pesky little piscatorial peckers off of a treble hook on my Rapala, when doltishness set in.  Rather than giving myself some slack in the line, I pulled the fish and crankbait down toward myself, bending the tip of the rod down with them.  In the second it takes a half-wit like me to lose the slippery fish, I found a treble hook buried in the meat of my hand.  The fish had slipped from my hand, the rod had quickly unbent itself (that’s what you call a “fast tip!”), and I was beginning to sweat profusely and utter unmentionables.  The worst part was that not only was I hooked, but the perch was still on the crankbait, wildly wiggling and digging the hook deeper and deeper!  My quick-thinking wife, at my urging, grabbed the pliers, since I begged her to help me.  And without batting an eye, she ripped the hook from my hand and saved any nearby boats from a further litany of blue smoke (not the kind that comes from the outboard motor). 

She’s good.  And I’m lucky.  And most days, I’d rather be the lucky one than the good one. 

The first real snow fell on us today here in Southeastern North Dakota.  It was a good day to sit and daydream about warmer-weather adventures and to live vicariously through the experiences others have reported online.  A couple of notables:

From MidCurrent, James Card’s “Cold War Trout: Fly Fishing the Korean DMZ Borderlands”

This is a very engaging story that drew me in, having visited the northern areas of South Korea.  I got to experience some of the mountainous areas and streams, but sadly without fly rod.

From Outside, Patrick Simms’ “A Peaceful Angle”

Taimen fishing in Mongolia.  Another good fantasy for a lazy winter day here in North Dakota.  The things one can do with money!

From Field and Stream, “Bill Heavey Goes Bass Fishing in Cuba”

Ever since I read Monte Burke’s book on bass fishing (see my bibliography in a previous post) I have wanted to find my way to Cuba to catch a world-record bass.  Darn funding gets in the way every time.

Enjoy your Saturday as much as I have enjoyed mine!  Reading these articles got me thinking about other pursuits, such as giant catfish in South America and trout fishing in Chile.  Sweet dreams.

From Lake Traverse on the border of Minnesota and South Dakota.  I’m never disappointed in a fishing trip when I take my camera.  I might not have a stringer full of fish at the end of the day, but there’s always a stringer full of images!

No, this isn’t a heartwarming essay about truly needing nothing for Christmas but world peace.  It’s about true greed and the darker side of my humanity.  Christmas is coming, and it’s a chance for me to outline my want list, at price levels all of my relatives can enjoy.  From my nearly-penniless older daughter, to my money-hoarding 9-year old with her own money market account (exaggeration), to my lovely and well-meaning wife whose budget is reduced by my sporting expenditures (euphemism), to rich benefactors who are circling my blog (fantasy), I can provide a Christmas gift buying opportunity for everyone.

Ranked in order from mere pennies to requiring a briefcase full of cash, here are a few of my unmet needs for fiscal 2009:

Owner Walleye Snells

My favorite way to catch walleyes.  Elegance in simplicity, with a super-duper penetrating hook.  I’ll probably have to give my near-penniless daughter five bucks to buy these for me, so move down the list if you’re an adult with a job.

Gulp! Alive Angleworms

Because I still believe those TV ads and I haven’t tried every variety of Gulp yet.  And because if I can ever get any of it to work it will further my laziness by reducing my commitment to keeping live bait alive. 

Crappy old fishing rod from a rummage sale

So that I have a “throw-down” I can break when I’m enraged in the boat at losing a trophy fish, rather than breaking the good ones.  And I can use it for a “loaner” when I go fishing with that guy down the street who always bugs me to take him fishing, but whom I would rather not trust with a hundred-dollar rod. 

James Prosek books

The only one I have is Early Love and Brook Trout.  I need the rest for my winter emotional stability.  Amazon.com has free shipping specials.  Be generous.

Fleeced, by Dick Morris

A book about the fleecing of America.  Because I’m a conservative masochist who likes to be reminded of the drunken sailors in Washington spending my money. 

A 5 wt fly rod, a little on the short side

This would be used for therapeutic creek fishing (again an appeal for my health!) to match up to the G Loomis reel my dad found on the side of the road and gave me because I’m his favorite son.

4-12 x 40 scope—Leupold, Burris, Nikon preferred—not an adjustable objective

My Kimber 25-06 is very lonely right now, and suffering from near-sightedness. It would be a great boost to the poor little Kimber’s self-worth and ability to function in outdoor society.

Benelli M-2 Field 12 Ga.

Any of the stock configurations will do.  Picking camo patterns is kind of like my wife picking paisley or plaid.  I would look beautiful in either one.

Jeep Wrangler Unlimited

Well, I can dream a little, can’t I?  Maybe that millionaire guy who gives away his money will read my blog, cry a little, and write a check to stimulate the economy.  I’ll even take the Baby Poop Yellow one or the Rabbit Dropping Green one.

Joe Biden’s Beretta

He said during the VP debates that he wouldn’t let Barack Obama come for his shotgun.  I’m giving him a chance to sell it to me (or to a benefactor who will then present it to me) so that he doesn’t have to go through that humiliation.

Of course, what I really want for Christmas is to be the guy who needs nothing.  And you can help me eventually get there by making sure I get everything I want.

With winter coming (and possibly a lower rate of outdoor activity if you’re a creature of comfort like me), I present to you an annotated bibliography of seven fishing books for your consideration and enjoyment.  I’m thinking about adding to it and placing it in an archive, or wiki-izing it, or something.  I still need to do justice to books like James Prosek’s Early Love and Brook Trout, which is missing here.

—————————

Burke, Monte.  Sowbelly: The Obsessive Quest for the World-Record Largemouth Bass.  New York: Penguin, 2005.

This book offers some insight into the world of people who spend countless hours of their lives trying to catch the “big one.”  Books like this are rare, just like bass over ten pounds.  Part journalism, part philosophy, and part art.  Good stuff.  Combine with the technical information in Doug Hannon’s book (below), stir, and drink up.  You’ll be on the water for 300 days out of the year in no time.

Greenlaw, Linda.  All Fisherman are Liars.  New York: Hyperion, 2004.

It’s hard not to like Linda Greenlaw.  English major, swordfishing boat captain, lobster boat driver.  Makes me want to slip on the orange rain bibs and drive a wooden boat.  Her stories in this book are excellent examples of the salty genre.  I mean, this is a person who frequents a place called the Dry Dock Bar, and survived The Perfect Storm.  It makes my walleye trips look like buzzing around a pond on a jet ski.

Grigsby, Shaw.  Bass Master Shaw Grigsby: Notes on Fishing and Life.  With Robert Coram.  Washington, D.C.: National Geographic Books, 1998. 

I don’t normally glom onto the world of competitive fishing, preferring to read people like Doug Hannon and Al Lindner, but this is a good read.  Grigsby shares a lot of his knowledge about baits, tuning, color selection, and so on—exactly what you would expect from this kind of book.  But he also shows his human side, including some heartwarming narrative about his relationship with his father. 

Hannon, Doug.  Big Bass Magic.  With Horace Carter.  Brainerd, MN: In-Fisherman, 1986. 

Doug Hannon’s credentials do the talking.  As someone who has caught more than 400 bass weighing ten pounds are more, he’s worth a listen.  In the book, he covers a lot of the factors involved with targeting the biggest of bass, including how to camouflage your boat.  He also debunks some popular myths and shows how the tackle industry makes a lot of money attracting fishermen, but not necessarily fish.

Henshall, J.A.  Book of the Black Bass.  Cincinatti: Robert Clark & Co, 1881.  Reprinted by B.A.S.S. in 1978. 

This is one of the very first works to publicly advocate the black bass (largemouth or smallmouth) as a gamefish worthy of the respect of say, a trout or salmon.  If you can survive the chapters on the scientific naming of the black bass, there are some really great chapters outlining Henshall’s philosophy of fishing, as well as historical insight into rods, reels, and equipment of the day.  If you fly fish for bass, this is a must-read.  And it makes you feel smart.  You’ll be quoting Henshall in no time.

Lindner, Al and Ron.  First Light on the Water.  Minneapolis: Bronze Bow Publishing, 2003.

Al and Ron have probably shared more knowledge about multispecies fishing with the world than anyone else combined.  And they have a love of God.  Even though my brand of religion (Catholic) and theirs (born-again) are not the same, I appreciate their work for giving credit to the presence of Christ in their lives.  And for stories such as Al’s narrative about the angel who pulled him from the water after taking an unexpected dip while ice fishing.  It’s a beautiful book with some nice photography, and it reminds us of why the sunset is so beautiful on the water after a day of fishing.

Walton, Sir Izaak.  The Compleat Angler.  1653. 

I went to an English teacher’s convention this year and the subtitle was “The Compleat Teacher.”  Leave it to English majors to make allusions, but I was surprised that they gave proper credit to Sir Izaak.  There is no reason to fail to read this book—it’s free on the Internet.  Look it up on one of the many repositories of old texts (like Project Gutenberg).  Read it.  It’s old.  It’s philosophical.  It’s a good reminder that with today’s tackle industry, we still fail to catch as many fish as dudes did back in 1653 with wooden poles and gut for line. 

From the Enchanted Highway in western North Dakota–home of some semi-accurate representations of fish and animals in all their welded glory!

With apologies to Jorge Luis Borges, the Latin American writer who once wrote a short piece entitled “Borges y Yo,” in which he compared his private and public personas, I will attempt to do the same.  I have, however, begun in a horrible manner by editorializing.  Let the fun begin now that I have ruined my introduction.

I can define myself in many ways, but often, I choose to define myself by what I do. This is a very American trait.  We find ourselves at parties and gatherings often answering the question of “What do you do?”  Rather than admit that I am an English department chair (part bureaucrat, part academic–yikes) I fancy answering them by saying “I feed my outdoor obsession as often as possible.”  But, alas, I usually just give the straight answer.  There is indeed a part of me that is a rather middle-aged, middle-of-the-road English teacher at a two-year college.  But there is a part of me that, while earning my pay in obligation to the educational system, is dreaming of epic battles with steelhead and charging moose. 

I find in one persona a student and teacher of writing combined with a Hemingway wannabe who seeks hedonistic pleasure in using implements to play out the age-old ritual of making contact with fish and game, at times for the purpose of simply feeling the wild antics on the end of my fishing line, only to release the prey, and at other times respectfully taking the life to consume it in a cycle where I am the dominant predator.    Sometimes I steal their images with a camera, slipping back out of their realm to wonder at the things I’ve seen.

So that is what I will share with you.  Experiences. Photographs. Opinions.  Ideas.  All for the sake of furthering our collective outdoor obsession. 

As Borges ended his discussion of his personas, I will end by saying I do not know which of us is writing this blog post.  Teacher or hunter?  Bureaucrat or fisherman?  I will let the readers decide.  See you tomorrow, and I look forward to interacting with the mini-blogosphere that Skinny Moose has so graciously created.