Having been distracted by flood news in our region (3Rs world headquarters is at the headwaters of the Red River), I have neglected the blog. But today in a fit of brilliance I have decided to try a new feature on for size (cue trumpets), wherein I offer my services as a translator (somewhat akin to the Liberal Translation feature on Sean Hannity’s show). The difference is that I am mainly concerning myself with headlines.
This is the worst time of my year. In some areas, March is beautiful and there are adornments such as cherry blossoms to enjoy. For those of us in the Red River Valley, it’s time to watch the dirty snowdrifts slowly recede, the rivers rise, and anxiously wait for the walleye opener (which was ridiculously close to ice-out last year and it’s in MAY!).
I just returned from a trip to Illinois via Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa (thus my absence from Blogville). There were lucky folks fishing on the Mississippi river from boats, waving as we drove past, taunting me, as I’m sure they could tell clearly from afar that I was from North Dakota. ”Poor bastards,” I imagined them saying as I left them and drove back north. I thought of my own boat lying in state in my best friend’s quonset. He probably won’t have the doors busted free from the ice and snowdrifts for another month so I can free my vessel. And then about all I will be able to do is bring it home, park it in the driveway, and sit at the helm, making outboard motor noises and dreaming of open water.
At this very moment, I’m waiting for the melt to really break loose to test my newly installed 3/4 hp sump pump. The Red River here near the headwaters is going to be above flood stage, as usual, and is due to crest on Wednesday. Fargo prognosticators are predicting a crest there to match the 1997 flood. Having lost a home to the 1997 flood when I lived in our sister city of Breckenridge, my back aches for pretty much the entire month of March, and I think about water non-stop. Ironic that a fisherman would experience so much stress over the very same thing that provides so much enjoyment later in the season.
So I wait. I can’t even do boat prep for the season yet. The tackle has all been obsessively organized several times over the long winter, and the gear is ready to go back in the boat. I guess I’ll stand in my garage and look around at all of my stuff, plug in the bait fridge, and wait for the river below the dam to break up so that I can at least drop a jig in it sometime in April. And I will think of the guys below all the dams I passed on the way back up the Mississippi. Catch one for your northern brethren, boys. It will be a spiritual work of mercy for us souls in purgatory.
With the latest weather beatdown (a footish of the white death), I am going to use the opportunity to model self control. I’m not going to post a picture of my frozen-bearded face or the road conditions map or fuzzy pictures of obliterated roads. Instead, I offer YouTube entertainment of a weather-ish variety:
#1: Loco weatherman in snowflake suit.
#2: George Carlin’s “Hippy Dippy” weatherman. Rest in peace, Grand Master of the English Language.
#3: European weather woman (German?) loses it. Much of the time, weather forecasters might as well be speaking a foreign language.
#4: Attractive Minnesota weather girl. And an illustration of the yearly beatdown for us Northerners.
#5: Attractive European weather girl.
#6: Attractive European weather girl. This is the last one I give you. If you want to continue this trend, take your pervy hands and type in a search on YouTube. There are lots of these for your sick viewing pleasure.
I vote for changing our local weather forecasters over to attractive Polish-speaking meteorologists. As long as they’re reasonably expressive and use words like “Brrrrr,” I’ll know exactly what to expect.
With an honest-to-goodness blizzard about to dump 6-12 inches of snow on us, I’m thinking about fishing destinations. I thought I would share a trio of guides with folks who may be considering hiring someone. These three guys are all honest, hardworking, straightshooting guys who work hard for their clients and have showed me some honesty that renews my faith in humans.
I fished with Dempsey a couple of years ago on Grand Lake, Oklahoma for paddlefish. The day my brother and I went paddlefishing with Dempsey, he had been up a good portion of the night fighting a brush fire as a volunteer firefighter. Although I was named “Lucky” by Dempsey on the trip because my luck was less than stellar to begin with, Dempsey kept at it and got me on a 70+ pound paddlefish that eclipsed my older brother’s. Good man. He does bass and catfish, too. And he tells a good story.
One fine spring break, I happened to be in Atlanta, so I found a day to go out with Randall on Stone Mountain Lake, a horsepower-restricted impoundment nearby, after largemouth bass. Randall is a tournament angler and very smart bass fisherman. His service even included picking me up at my hotel in Atlanta. Of course, my luck (see “Lucky” above) caused us to be fishing in late March in light snow. I went wayyy south (for a northerner) and all I got was the same weather as home! Though we didn’t catch much, Randall taught me a lot about bass fishing and patience, and the severe cold front was obviously to blame for the slow fishing. In spite of the tough bite, I enjoyed myself immensely.
Doug’s domain is Fort Peck Lake in MT, one of the best walleye (and pike and salmon) factories around. Since “Lucky” is my name when I hire fishing guides, the day in June my daughter and I showed up to go fishing with Doug, there was a small craft warning and gusts way past 35 mph. Even though it was a day most people were staying off the water, Doug found us some sheltered spots around the dam and tried to find us some walleye. He didn’t turn any up on the graph, so we packed it in and Doug didn’t charge us a dime. I believe his statement while we were on the water was “I could take you around to a few sheltered spots and pull cranks all day and charge you the full rate, but you wouldn’t be very happy at the end of the day.” How’s that for honesty? I hope to go back to fish with Doug on a better day. Even though we only spent about an hour with Doug, I still got something out of the experience: a good test run in a Warrior that tells me they are one excellent boat for rough water.
I salute you, real men of fishing genius. Give these guys a try if you want an honest fishing guide, and tell ‘em “Lucky” sent you.
Recently having become excited about lever actions again after seeing Marlin’s XLR series (and finding a home for one in .444 and one in .35 Rem), I have discovered some excellent sites to pass along:
#1: Skinner Sights. Built in a one-man shop in Ronan, MT, these sights look like the ticket for the .444. I don’t really want “scope-eye” from a .444. Can you blame me? A longer sight radius and a ghost ring should make the .444 a good bear-whackin’ machine.
#2: Game Reaper Scope Mounts. I like the look of these one-piece, lightweight aluminum mounts for putting a 1.75-5x scope on the .35 Remington XLR. They have some forward offset, which is nice to have on a lever rifle with a scope that has generous eye relief.
#3: Ranch Dog Molds. The proprietor has done his homework on shooting cast bullets in Marlin’s lever guns, especially on barrel throat dimensions and the unique attributes of Micro Groove rifling. The XLR series (as well as the Guide Guns) have cut rifling, but the bullets are said to shoot well in those, too. With ammunition prices going sky high, casting bullets with the Lee system looks like a good way to save money. The molds aren’t horribly expensive, and the sizing and lube processes are simplified and don’t require an expensive lubrisizer.
#4: Marlin Owners Forums. This set of forums offers the collective wisdom of Marlin guys across the country, so the rest of us don’t have to know it all. A good place to get acquainted with common problems and solutions involving all Marlins.
I am looking forward to summer and load development. I think with all of the new trendy cartridges on the market, it will be fun to work with a couple of “oldies but goodies.” The one new cartridge that interests me in Marlin’s lineup is the .338 Marlin Express, but I’m not sure I would trade the .35 or .444 in to get it.
