With the latest weather beatdown (a footish of the white death), I am going to use the opportunity to model self control.  I’m not going to post a picture of my frozen-bearded face or the road conditions map or fuzzy pictures of obliterated roads.  Instead, I offer YouTube entertainment of a weather-ish variety:

#1: Loco weatherman in snowflake suit. 

#2: George Carlin’s “Hippy Dippy” weatherman.  Rest in peace, Grand Master of the English Language.

#3: European weather woman (German?) loses it.  Much of the time, weather forecasters might as well be speaking a foreign language.

#4: Attractive Minnesota weather girl.  And an illustration of the yearly beatdown for us Northerners.

#5: Attractive European weather girl.

#6: Attractive European weather girl.  This is the last one I give you.  If you want to continue this trend, take your pervy hands and type in a search on YouTube.  There are lots of these for your sick viewing pleasure.

I vote for changing our local weather forecasters over to attractive Polish-speaking meteorologists.  As long as they’re reasonably expressive and use words like “Brrrrr,” I’ll know exactly what to expect.

As mentioned in a previous post, my favorite NASCAR driver is Matt Kenseth.  With a Daytona win followed up by a California win this past weekend, I’m having a good year.  (WHY did I not enter a betting pool this year??)

In honor of Matt Kenseth, I propose true fan mania in the form of collecting all that is black and yellow and plastering the #17 on these items.  This is what the well-appointed outdoorsman will be sporting this NASCAR season:

1. Arbogast Hula Popper

2. Frabill Flo-troll Minnow Bucket

3. Malibu Kayaks X-13

4. Jig (www.custom-crappie-jigs.com)

5. Spyderco Tasman Salt knife

6. Garmin E-trex GPS

7. Frabill Magnum GT ice shelter

8. Grundens Rain Bibs

9. Black and yellow Clouser Minnow

10. Vans Era shoes

11. Ski-Doo Skandic WT

12. Abu Garcia Revo Reel

13. Mepps Black Fury spinners

14. Skeeter boat in custom colors

15. 2006 Roush F-150 Champion Edition

16. Piper J-3 Cub airplane

17. Sexy bee costume

You will see that the average NASCAR fan will not necessarily be able to afford all of these accoutrements. Piper Cubs were cheap when they were on the market, but are quite collectible now. $8,000 doesn’t just fall off trees for toys like snowmobiles (at least not in my spending climate). The F-150 Roush Edition would definitely break the bank for me. However, wheeled and winged things aside, I think I could afford to just possibly be the Best Matt Kenseth Fan Ever.

Now I’m scaring even myself. I dare Carl Edwards fans to come up with 99 duck-themed ways to honor their driver.

Once again, the 3 Rs brings you fishing culture on a platter:

I found Eric Engbretson’s site www.underwaterfishphotos.com by way of Moldy Chum.  I love underwater photos of smallmouth bass.  It is very cool to be able to visualize what the fish look like “down there.”    

Another site that has some spectacular underwater footage is Kim Stricker’s Hook and Look.  His website also has multiple species photographed by sneaking up on them with scuba gear.  If you get a chance to see the TV show, he also shows lures in action and the responses of fish.

Finally, you owe it to yourself if you love trout to visit Pat Clayton’s FishEyeGuy Photography.  His underwater pictures of trout in streams are the finest I have seen.  Please go to his gallery and look at his photo of Yellowstone Cutthroats and the other gorgeous streambed scenes.  You will probably ooh and ahh and call someone else over to show them the pictures.  Incredible stuff!

Who needs Photoshop?  Since finding this web-app, I’ve gone on a binge of placing my head on such diverse figures as Augusto Pinochet and Lindsay Lohan. 

I’m wondering if I’ll have the nerve to post my most brilliant work: Obama and Biden as the creepy twins from “The Shining.”