Tom Sorensen over at Base Camp Legends wrote a column about Bear stories that reminded me about one of the poems I had written.  It is based on a true story.  There is something hair curling about looking a at a bear cub at eye level when you are on horseback, and knowing that you can’t see momma bear, but she is near.  Tom, I hope you get a kick out of MY bear story…

I spent two summers while in college as a guide and packer in Northern Idaho and Oregon. I met a lot of clients that I really enjoyed, but there was a couple of customers I wished I could just leave them out there.
Now every pack station has one horse reserved for the larger clients. Ours was named Battleship. She was a half Belgian half quarter horse that could pack any thing she was given. After a day like the one below she earned her oats.

I checked in at the ranch that morning to gather and pack the dudes
When Woody says “John you’ve got a single, He’s big with an attitude
“Now he wants to experience nature in all it’s glory and delight
Watch out on the west fork, there was a bear up there last night”

So I wrangled up old Battleship to haul him up the hill
When I saw Old Norman waiting, I shuddered with a chill
Wearing knee socks and Bermuda shorts, a tank top and shower shoes
He was a 300-pound monument that I was the packer BORN TO LOSE

Climbing in the saddle was a chore for a man built that big around
I wasn’t gonna lift him, so we had to find a rock to get him off the ground
In his attempts to mount he dropped his camera at least a dozen times
I tied his bridle reins together to keep him from dropping the lines.

Finally we left the trailhead headed south with that knothead in tow
When he piped up from behind “Hey Mister Cowboy, I gotta go!”
So I pointed with disgust to a tree not far off the rocky, mountain trail
He waddled off into the bushes and tried to no avail.

So he comes back to the horses looking sheepish and ashamed
“I guess my bathroom habits are used to settings more urbane”
“But lets press onward, we can try again in a little while.”
But these non-performances continued every quarter mile.

Walking back after the sixteenth dry run my patience was just about spent
When I see him freeze, let out a whimpering cry “I-I-I just went!!”
Here in the trail is a baby cub who stood up ‘bout to my knees
I knew mama was somewhere close in the alders under the trees

The horses had rollers in their nostrils as they drew in the omnivorous scent.
Then with a bawl from his juvenile mouth up the tree junior bear went.
Now I’ve got to admit Norman stood his ground like a trooper, petrified as he might be
As the alders shook, growled and popped at the base of the cub’s climbing tree

With a pensive glance at me I could see this was quite the scare
Norman stammered slowly “Cccc-an we-we out run that bear?”
Ya know after all I’d been through with this bum, my reply, I swear was true,
“I said, “Norman, I don’t have to out run that bear, I’ve just got to outrun you!”